Welcome to Wisdom Wednesdays: your weekly dose of clarity.
Each week, enjoy a quick guided reflection, fresh insights, and a simple exercise to help you unlock what’s next—all in one powerful email.
Let's dive in!
Intentional Pause - Your guided reflection
6 minutes to more clarity
“You can either live with intention or exist by default.” - Kristin Armstrong
My husband and business partner, Phil, and I are gearing up for our annual Strategic Planning retreat. We venture off each December to zoom out on life. To reflect on the year and to plan for and align on the next.
It’s the most rewarding few days we spend all year. Here’s a video of our trip in December 2023…
I love it first because it’s dedicated relationship time. Just the two of us living at our own pace focused on us and our life.
And second because those few days set the course for the year ahead.
If you’re looking for more alignment, connection and collaboration in your own life, relationship and/or family, I highly recommend it.
WHAT DOESN’T WORK
Before we started this practice a decade ago, we didn’t have a shared vision. We each individually went off into our own lives each day, living independent realities while we were trying to bring our lives together.
We wanted a cohesive path forward, but we were walking down different roads.
It was fine until it wasn’t. Until we would hit challenges or want to create a change but we were too far apart that it was overwhelming to make any meaningful progress.
THE UNLOCK
Everything changed when we decided to intentionally grow together.
At the time, we were trying to buy a new house immediately after getting married.
The tension grew as we both tried to go at it in our own way while fighting the other. Instead of making progress, we swirled in frustration.
Eventually, we decided to dig into the issue. We started by better understanding each other. What was causing our differences? Was it a misalignment in vision or a misunderstanding of how we both individually operate?
A couple quick personality tests later, and we realized that we are exact opposites. When we approach a challenge with that awareness, we can move through it with more ease, leveraging each other’s strengths instead of fighting them.
Secondly, we did a short dive into values and life goals. Did we even want this house for the same reasons? Were we on the same page about priorities?
That exercise showed us that while we may be living very independent realities, our values and vision were aligned.
Our task was to use all of this new found awareness to fuel our house buying project.
And it did. We proceeded with more ease, respect and flow. Ultimately, we landed in a more ideal situation than we could have imagined when we first started the process.
But I’m certain today that the outcome wouldn’t have been possible without the alignment exercise.
THE KEY
The most profound changes in life happen with a healthy mix of intention and surrender.
The intention grounds us in a deep understanding of who we are and what we want - independently or with a partner.
Surrender is acceptance that we don’t have control over “how” or “if” something unfolds.
But with a conscious balance of both, we can move forward in more alignment, ease, respect and acceptance, ultimately experiencing more of what we want, and less of what we don’t.
PERSPECTIVE
In the case of partnership or a relationship, we can choose to move forward by default, experiencing life together but separately, rarely making progress toward our shared vision. We’re still moving forward, just potentially not toward where we want to go, together.
OR we can move forward with aligned intention - syncing up the vision for what we want based on the foundation of who we are and what’s most important.
That intentional movement allows for progress as well as surrender, knowing and trusting that the intentional action alone will net us out closer to the desired outcome (without attachment to if and how that happens).
We often share this video between Oprah & Gary Zukav, author of Seat of the Soul to showcase how this happens in both life and business.
Whether you’re curing “the need to please” like Oprah, aligning your relationship and family like us, advancing your career, building your community, or whatever else you may want in the year ahead, digging into some self-awareness and setting some intentions will go a long way.
It’s not just a New Year's resolution. Intentions are something you can stick to. In a year’s time? Whew, a late can change with intentional action!
YOUR TURN TO REFLECT
Below is a reflection opportunity to help you get started on your intention(s) for the next week. Take a moment to settle in and consider the questions below using the audio above to guide you.
When you’re finished with the visualization, answer the following questions:
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Identify one thing in your life right now that is expanding your energy.
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Write an intention for how you will do more of that thing or make sure that you regularly prioritize it.
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I intend to….
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Next, identify one thing in your life right now that is draining your energy.
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Write an intention for how you will de-prioritize, redesign, delegate or delete that thing from your life
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I intend to….
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MOMENTUM THROUGH ACTION
If you’re ready to set intentions for the year and plan your own Strategic Planning getaway, here are a few tips!
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TIP 1: Find a getaway/place that you are drawn to that offers:
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Good, diverse areas for working sessions (think: hotel with a variety of sitting areas or Airbnb with access to local working spots)
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Activities that the you/you both prefer (think: outdoor adventures like hiking, biking, beach, etc. or something like a spa)
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TIP 2: Create a schedule in advance. This sets the intention when you'll do the Strategic Planning for Life work and when to adventure and/or relax. We usually plan for 3-4 days
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An example schedule:
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Pre-trip: Priming Questions and Individual Portions of Modules 1, 2 & 3
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Day 1: Travel day (Individual Portion of Module 4)
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Day 2: Morning working session (Sharing & Alignment on Priming Questions, Modules 1, 2 & 3); Break for lunch and afternoon adventure; Afternoon working session (Sharing & Alignment on Module 4); Dinner, etc.
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Day 3: Morning working session (Sharing & Alignment on Modules 5 & 6); Break for lunch and afternoon adventure; Afternoon working session (Sharing and Alignment on Modules 6 & 7)
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Day 4: Travel Day (Individual Portion of Module 8).
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Tip 3: Don’t get overwhelmed with the work or the plan. Have fun with it and remember that you have 12 months to action your intentions. That’s a long time. You don’t have to do everything in the first month after planning.
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Tip 4: Finally, be sure to set up some time after the getaway to revisit the work. This is a great time to refine anything that may need adjusted and to celebrate any immediate progress. We also like to have weekly smaller check-ins and monthly bigger check-ins.
Another route you can take is to do this week by week individually or with a community of others over at Owl & Key if a trip isn't available. Set a time on your calendar each week. Prior to that time together, you will each complete the work for the module on your own so that you can collaborate and align when you get together.
No matter how you do it - Take it step by step. If all of it seems too much at once with everything you have going on, just start with the Priming Questions, Personality sharing & Values alignment. :)
When you need help or inspiration, reach out! I’d love to support you.
Thanks for tuning in this week, friend. Wishing you time and space to reflect and set some intentions for the year ahead!
With gratitude for your presence here,
Krista
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